Freezing.

It's so friggin cold today. I wore a cream dress with leggings because I thought it was going to be real hot today. Cuz it's been like this for the past few days; it's cold in the morning, but it's scorching hot in the afternoon. But today, it fucking rain, and it almost killed me frozen.

S-E-X.

Man, I can't believe this you guys. Complain all you want about me having wild hormones, when the fact is, my sitemeter hit right up up up when I post sex entries. And when I don't, it just goes down average.

I was reading Eeting's blog, and please it's obvious men won't don't keep their virginity for their future wife. They dream to have as many sexual partners as they can before they get married and get stuck to one hole for their whole life. Of course, as long as they have protected sex, otherwise risking sex-related diseases. Okay, I've mentioned a lot about sexual diseases, because the fact is, I am really really scared of it, I think you can pretty much see it.

Even virgin dorks want to have sex so bad, they'd find it anywhere and will do it anywhere. Yes, even if it's the most filthy alleyways you can find in your neigbourhood or the bushes if they are lucky enough. And they'd even do it on top of their computer keyboard if they have to.

If George Bush has a blog on his own right now, that he sits in his White House and blog them everyday. I don't think it'll have as much hits as a porn site.

They even have researches confirming that men are only as faithful as their options. If you put a man in a small hotel room with a girl with big boobs and lacy lingerie. Forget about whether he has a wife or three kids or a sick mother or a fat girlfriend at home waiting for him, he'd jump right into her ass. Why? Because they had the option. They don't get offered to have sex as much as we girls get, so of course when an opportunity arise, they think its a sin to turn it down.

When men just fell out of love or maybe he just had this big fight with his girlfriend or wife. I don't know why either, but they uses sex to get away from it. And since their partner, obviously, won't be stripping naked for them, all they could do is to find someone else who'd do that for him. Even if it has to cost him some bucks.

And even so, I never said I agree with those men. In fact, I think those men, are total jerks. Period.

Sarcasm.

Don't be so judgemental by saying that anyone who is being sarcastic has the lowest sense of humour. Oh come on, I think there's nothing more beautiful than sarcasm. I use them all the time, and I think everyone does. It just depends on their frequency and level of sarcasm. A lot of people hate it when someone else are being sarcastic when he/she doesn't even realise that sometimes they still uses irony to convey their contempt. Well, isn't that a part of sarcasm as well?

My boyfriend never hated sarcasm until he met me. I use them in our daily conversations. He was okay with it at first until I started using them when we are quarrelling. I use them for defence, to find his weakness in the conversation. Well, you can't win until you bring someone down, right? Everytime we have an arguement and I'm lost for words, I'd always start being sarcastic and which usually I'll end up winning. Which of course, only until he started using the same trick as me.

When we are being sarcastic, we are just trying to sneer or mock you around. We don't mean any harm. But some people just take it too personally. And if we hit the wrong buttons, we really didn't mean it. Even if we put sarcasm in our every sentences, we also meant no harm.

There are sarcasm that you often use but you probably don't realise it has a little sense of sarcasm in it. It's like when you say "I could care less"! That statement means that it is possible for you to care less, meaning that you at least care a little. But when you say it, you actually really mean to say that you actually don't fucking care anyway.

Or like when you think everyone knows, for example, Mr. Blahblahblah. And you happen to ask your girlfriend about this Mister, and you girlfriend just go, "who the hell is that?". I know how you'd react you'll sarcasticly say, "How could you not know Mr Blahblahblah?" Urgh, okay so I agree a little, sometimes it can get a little annoying. I hate it too when people do that and unfortunately my boyfriend loves to do that to me. Damnit.

By no means do I consider myself intellectually superior to you by writing this entry about sarcasm. Even though sarcasm usually requires a quick wit, and the ability to extract the minutest points of weakness in a conversation. I was just hoping that people can actually appreciate sarcasm. Grin if you need to, if a good sarcasm is uttered. Especially when you're with someone who probably has extreme sarcasm built into their brains from birth.

Camera.

I'm looking for a digital camera, but I've got no effin idea which one's to get. Any suggestions?

I'm not looking for the extremely expensive camera with a zillion megapixels, or the ones that includes special effects or what-so-ever. I just need a simple decent digital camera, maybe about 5/6 megapixels at least. I've got an SLR at home, so I won't be needing it for extra zooms or anything. But please, quality and physical appearance is the most important criteria LOL. Preferably a slim Sony or Nikon.

Walking Away.

She walked towards the car as she was told. There he was with his sunglasses on, sitting and smoking up his cigarette, his face full of anger. The memory of the conversation must have still vexed him.

"We're done here", she said. But as soon as she said those words, she wished she could take it back. She turns around and walked furiously away from him. Though her legs kept pulling her away, she knew that deep down, he was all that she wanted. Even though she is still exasperated by his silence, she knew she didn't want to lose him. One step, two step, and she was still hoping that he would somehow chase after her, three step, and then four step. But he didn't.

She turns around and ran back to where the car was parked earlier on. But now, the car's gone. He's gone. The love of her life's gone, and maybe he'll be gone forever. She felt the whole world crushed down on her. Tears start streaming down to her cheeks. Her legs felt weak as she kept running and mouthing his name. "Don't go. Please. Come back". But she know that he can no longer hear her, but she kept repeating it like a mantra. She was miserably desperate.

Its true when they say, you'll never miss the water 'till the well runs dry. She hated herself, she regretted everything she said to him. As she was running, she thought it might be all just a dream. She wants to wake up so bad, but she realised after, that she won't be dreaming if she can think that it is a dream. So it is true. He has left her all alone on that lonely side of the road. She might have walked out on him, but she didn't mean it. She never meant for everything to end up like that.

She wanted another chance, because she could never love a person like how she loved him.

But was it too late? Because now that he's gone. Was it too late? Because all she can do is say "I'm sorry" but he can't hear her no more.
___

Sometimes you feel like you can't take it anymore, and you think that breaking up is the only solution. But sometimes its wrong, because running away would hurt you even more. I've been there because that girl was me. I've learnt so much from that wounding experience. I could never be the girl who only thinks about herself. The girl that acts a decision without thinking twice, or even thrice. I could never want to lose him again. Since I've been given another chance, I could not possibly harm our relationship again. And like I've said before, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I guess now, our relationship is stronger than ever.

Although now everytime I walk past that side of the road, I'd shiver in fear and my tears would unconsciously well up in my eyes.

Smokers.

Urgh, let me get this off my chest. To those who are always prejudicing about smokers, here let me tell you what we think.
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Smokers are addicts. It's not like we can help it. At this stage, it's not so much about wanting to smoke anymore, but it's all about needing to smoke. You can raise the price of cigarettes all you want or put even more horrible pictures of death and decay on cigarette packs, and it still won't change the fact that we are addicts.

We very much know that smoking are bad for our health, decays our teeth and nails, it can lead to heart complications and it's actually deadly. But it still doesn't change the fact that the Quit Hotline has a very minimal success rate. It won't change the fact that nicotine affects the same area of the brain as, and is also by the way is arguably more addictive than, heroin. If you've never been addicted to a chemical substance, then accept the fact that you have no idea what kind of nightmare quitting is. We want to quit, don't say we don't try.

Because no, willpower is not enough.

You want us to stop smoking? Then please, for Christ's sake, lose the disapproval, the snide comments and the supercilious tone and the arch looks and fucking help us.

You can talk to us, listen to us, distract us from our cravings, our withdrawal symptoms. Make yourself available, night and day. Be a phone call or a car ride away at four in the morning when we're craving for a smoke and are about to make our way to the nearest 7-eleven to get a pack of cigarettes. Be there for us when we fail and help us to rebuild the confidence that we once had a while ago, and stay positive, for weeks, or even months.

Assure me that you can do that, or just shut up about it.

For You.

This entry is dedicated for my dear friend,

I know you're going through a very hard time now. Tell me if I'm wrong. I know you look strong in the outside, but on the inside, you're breaking down. I might be one of your close friends, but yet I'm so far away. We tell each other almost everything, but yet I can't be there right beside you. But I just want you to know, if deep down, you are struggling to hold yourself up, I'm here for you. No one can understand you better than someone who's actually been there before. It might have happened a long time ago, I might have gotten over it ages ago, but a scar stays as a scar - one that I could never forget.

You felt like everything you've earnt just went down the drain and dissappears. All the effort, the time, the everything you have, you've given it to that someone. But in return, he gives nothing but hurt. The hurt that seems like it's not going to go away anytime soon. Lies, denials, promises after promises being broken - all of it stinging right into your skin, all at the same time.

You wish you can turn back time and everything will be normal again. Everything will be perfect just like before. Before when you think the world is in the palm of your hands.

But that's life. It's never smooth. But when you think about it, without that rockiness, you'll never be able come up.

It's true when someone says, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I believe in that, and I am thankful for what I've been through, because I know I won't be where I am today without that particular person, who might have hurt me. A lot.

Now, all you have to do is pick yourself up, stop looking behind you, and just keep moving forward. Throw the pain away by throwing all the bad and even the good memories of that person. Is like that person never existed. Keep telling youself, you deserve better, you deserve better! Because you do. Don't let your mind controls you, but let yourself control your mind. Don't let your emotions bring you down.

I know it's hard but soon the time will come and you'll be a so much better person. I can guarantee :).

Won't Listen.

Okay guys, I'll stop with the Sex thing before all you of think that my hormones are running really wild. Last night, I had this little tiff with my boyfriend. He has this habit of repeating and repeating his points, and I just got really pissed off that I started yelling and yelling and yelling non-stop. Until of course, I ran out of breath. And then for once, I thought the battle was over, it was quiet. But it didn't last a whole minute, and he started doing that thing again - going through the same thing over and over again. And I did the same, so at one point of time, I wasn't listening to him anymore. He took a little while to finally realise I wasn't even listening anymore. And he goes "Why do you keep doing that? You just stop listening to me?"

So here, I'll list you down all the reasons why Girls (I) Sometimes Won't Listen To Boys (You).

1. I haven't finished my sentence.

2. You've been repeating the same thing for the last half hour.

3. You just have too much pride, don't you? So you think you're always right? You never want to lose if we are having an arguement. But sometimes you are wrong, okay! But we girls, we are always right, remember that! :)

4. Cant you see I'm with my other girlfriends, doing a very serious business here. (Yes, choosing which colour for the dress we are going to buy for this Saturday's party, IS a serious business!)

5. I just got a stain on my skirt and I'm trying effing hard to get it off. *scratch scratch*

6. You just said I was fat!

7. -boys nag- "Urgh, the stain still wouldn't come off" -boys nag-

8. You maybe want to chew some gum? I think your breath stink.

9. And if it was not one of the lists above, then maybe I'm just being hard in the ass.

10. And if you want to work things out, for me personally. Buy me a Tifanny and I'll be super duper nice to you for a day. I'll listen to you; your every single words! I promise :)).

Yes Sex.

So as requested by Jacinta Han, i'll happily post the Top 10 Reasons Why We Should Have Sex. Hahahaha. Ok, Jass, this one's for you!

1. It's so damn good because,

2. Jamie Lynn Spears is doing it.

3. Nicole Richie is doing it and she got herself a baby.

4. Lance Bass from N'sync told me it's fucking good that he's even doing it with a guy.

5. Edison Chen seems to be enjoying them so much that he even keeps memories of it in his laptop.

6. JC Chasez had a song called All Day Long I Dream About Sex (and it was probably his only song that got into the chart).

7. The old Paris Hilton scandal I think shows it all.

8. People are having threesome.

9. So it must be pretty damn good,

10. Or you can choose to go try it yourself and tell me all about it :).


HAHAHAHA this is so random.

Just Maybe?

Can't you just maybe try to appreciate me?
You can get mad at me all you want, but first, look at the brighter side of it, then maybe you'll not see me like how you think I am.

No Sex.

After reading my previous entry about boyfriends, I am pretty damn sure, right now you're looking for one (i just hope its not from the search engine). So after you got yourself a boyfriend, whats next? You've got to deal with something called 'Sometimes Men Doesn't Want to Have Sex". We all know that they want sex, they want sex everyday if they have the opportunity to. So something must be wrong if they reject sex at that moment. I was in the car with my boyfriend and I was asking him what probably are the reasons why men don't want sex. And after having a good laugh, we both came up with a few good reasons :)

1. You're Fat.

2. I'm soooo tired, like overly exhausted kind of tired, with a lot of energy loss a.k.a overwork kind of tired.

3. You're not that good.

4. I haven't ate all day and we were about to eat.

5. We just ate too much.

6. I've just fallen from the stairs and my legs still hurts.

7. We just got off the phone with your annoying mother.

8. You're still fat.

9. Having sex with a condom is like eating food without taste.

10. You said you just had sex with a random guy? I don't want to get STDs, HIVs, or whatever kind of deadly illness you might catch. And yes, not even with condoms!

Boyfriend.

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Have a Boyfriend.

I was bored the other night and I was trying to google up stupid Top 10 reasons that internet-addicts look for on the search engine. But I could only see stuff like top 10 reasons why you should NOT have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Ok, so single life is great, it means more freedom and maybe lesser restrictions. But hey, why do you make having a relationship sounds so disadvantageous, so urgh.. awfully immoral? I'll tell you some points that might or might not change your mind. There are advantages about having a boyfriend. And I'm pretty sure you don't want to be single forever, do you?

1. So it's your PMS, you hell day, your fucking bad day (whatever you want to call it), you've got no one to blame. And there he is, standing next you, if he's your boyfriend, you know who the blame can go to. :)

2. A tragedy (to some drama queens would call it) has occured to you. Tears are welling up in your eyes, you feel the urge to burse out. And your boyfriend is there, gently carressing your hair, telling you that everything will be fine. At that point of time, don't you just want to fall into his arms and cry? You know you'll have a shoulder to cry on, and in case he's not there for you, erm, he HAS to be there for you :)).

3. You have someone to hold you an umbrella when it's raining. A.k.a someone to sacrifice for you, for example to help you change your tire when it goes flat on your car. You wouldn't want to dirty your new white dress, right?

4. You also have someone you can hold hands with during a wedding dinner. You won't feel left out or alone anymore when you're in a party where you barely know anyone but the host.

5. Aren't you bored already? You've been hanging out with the same old girlfriends for ages! Time to change to someone who's at least a different gender!

6. So you spent hours dressing up before you go out, but no one barely notices you. Now you'll have someone you can dress up to impress. Don't you just loooove praises?

7. Isn't it just a nice feeling that there's a person thinking of you right now?

8. It's Valentines' Day and all of your girlfriends are all out with their boyfriends receiving flowers and Ferreros. Maybe it's now your turn to enjoy some of that. Which would lead to my next point,

9. You get extra days to find a good excuse for extra shopping. For example, on Valentines', Christmas, or his birthday (which it wouldn't kill if you get yourself a nice lingerie on the way to the tie shop) :)

10. Now, you no longer have to worry about you sexual needs pleasures. Because now, you can do it anytime, anywhere. You no longer has to worry about this one-night-stand whether he would suck in bed, and if it happens your boyfriend is the one who suck at it, you have all the time in the world to experiment or teach him if you need to! And why is this the last reason? Because i know and you know, that sex is fucking good and all good things finish last :).

Best Memory.

What's the best memory you've ever had?

I've had many memories that can never be forgotten, and I'd love to share one.

It was hardly the best but it was nevertheless worth etching deep.
___

I could never forget how many times I looked at the mirror that night. I unconsciously kept on brushing my hair, again and again, making sure that I was looking as best as I could. Since I had no time for shower and all I could do was to put on my best appearance with, sadly - my totally unflattering pyjamas.

I couldn't help smiling to myself, having all the fluttering and nauseated sensation felt in my stomach. I felt it all night long, when I was looking at my own reflection, when I was answering the phone, when I was in the lift, even when I stood out of my entrance door waiting for...

And there I saw him walking towards me. It was dark and even though I could only see his silhouette against the dark background, I felt my stomach churning, like everything in it was crying out even louder to me than before and it was about to explode.

Our first night meeting, we talked, me lying on the carpet and him on the sofa. It was reserved, and even though it wasn't the best conversation we've had, I remember everything clearly. The husk smell of cigarettes, accompanied by Jim Beam Colas and a cheap red wine, and the soft action movie that was left playing on the television.

The next best thing that I could remember was when we found ourselves on the bed talking and staring in each other's eyes. We were in an empty room, a bed, a simple wardrobe, a computer and a table for it. His small but endearing eyes, that cheeky grin, the soft and the most affectionate kiss that we shared was what that left me smiling as I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up in the same pair of arms, and the first thing I saw was him with the morning glow casting on him as the curtains were drawn slightly.

I like to believe that, that was a brief moment when I felt in love, even though then we didn't know much of each other. But maybe the simplicity of it all, the absence of complexity and detail - that was what made it the most beautiful memory.

Boys.

Attention to all the male species on earth who are desperately wondering why you seem to be lacking of charisma (at least that's what they think is the problem) when it comes to romantically pursuing girls or hanging onto your current relationship. Since I'm a girl, I'd like to state from a girl's point of view, that its not the compelling charm that is to blame gentlemen, but maybe there are just points that you need to know that probably never run across your mind before.

You can get all bananas or upset to the points I have compiled below myself on How To Impress A Girl, but just remember one thing, who knows, one day you'll end up..

Thanking me. :)
___

1. First thing first, just the basic, please please please dress up for every date, on every occasion, even if it is just accompanying us to the supermarket. You might not know who you'll meet over there. It's a small world. We're not saying you are just an assessory for us but WE spent time dressing up to impress you. Be appreciative and at least give a half-assed effort to kill those old bermudas and ugly flip flop of yours.

2. Which also includes your hair. Please look presentable. We don't need the whole world to know that you just got out of bed and your dog ate up your comb or something.

3. Chuck away your cartoon boxers. Yes, even if it is Spongebob Squarepants. Ok, so maybe its cute, but so what? We girls wear satin and lace for a reason? At our age, it's just not sexy anymore.

4. For those with an extremely absurd body odour, we understand that you need to use colognes or deodorants. But please use them wisely and not marinate in them.

5. On dates, please not try to act intellectual, which is also known as being the smarty pants. (Especially when you're not). We don't know if you are either trying to bore us with all those boring topics or you're just trying to discriminate us being girls. So what if we are sensitive, shouldn't you guys know by now that we girls are extremely susceptible? Plus, this is notes on How To Impress A Girl, not How To Impress Yourself. So, by having said that,

6. It leads to another point which is about giving us pleasant remarks and keep your destructive comments under your ass. The most common scenario?
Girl: "Shit, I think I look fat"
Boy: "Hmm.. yeah.. maybe you need to just lose a little bit of weight"
Oh hellloooo there?!?! A little bit of weight is not JUST a little bit of problem to us! Is a hell big problem for us. So please be nice and we will very much appreciate your kind remarks such as "No, you are gorgeous" or at least just a "You look fine" statement wouldn't kill.

7. Just as the word 'shopping' is being mentioned, you feel like your legs are already running away before you actually are? Why? We know we take forever to just a choose a dress or a pair of shoes. But thats how we are, we want to look the best. And you wouldn't want to walk beside a girl with her grandmother's blouse, do you? We admit we often spend 5 freaking hours in Zara and eventually end up buying nothing. But it's all to impress you :), and like I've said, we do it because we want the best for you. Really. So why not from now on, try to look enthusiastic a little bit when we're shopping together. And bonus points if you are willing to pay for our shoppings : ))). It is for YOUR OWN benefits too, right? ;P
___

Therefore, if you fail any of those things above, don't blame us if we run away or we start whining, sulking or start acting like a total bitch. Because if you haven't noticed, our Superego can be very uncooperative at times when it comes to balancing our ID and Ego. I'm sorry, but we just can't help it.

And the list, by the way, is compiled by my own experiences. Please note the plural form, I'm not pin-pointing at anyone in particular, I'm just saying it in general. Peace :).